Its my bad. I've told him what i shouldn't. I've cracked the whole thing. How do i start again?

I hate being an honest person. Seriously, it so bad like hell gonna explode. I donno to whom i want to share this thing. To myself, the one that suffering to bear this stuff for a long time. Friends were long gone. 

I don't know how to smile.

I just know how to fake it.

I don't want to lose it.

But I have to let it fly.